alt.lawyers

By Del Viking
Staff Writer
Washington Leader


CROCKPORT, Maine, July 31 -- Although "spokespersons" are saying
Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. is "fine" after suffering what they
term a "seizure" July 30, some neurosurgeons are expressing fear that
if Roberts suffered significant loss of mental faculties, the result
could be a slavering nincompoop like your White House war criminal,
who has been determined by his physicians to have the intelligence
quotient of "a retarded pit bull."

"That's correct," said Dr. Heimie Jebson, chief of Neurology at New
York's Almost All Saints Hospital.

"In the worst case scenario, " said Jebson, "the chief justice could
be saddled with the mental ability of, say, an evangelist,
fundamentalist NASCAR Nation type of brain that functions roughly at
the level of an ashtray."

Reports from the Maine hospital where Roberts is undergoing tests
indicate he will fully recover from what officials say was a mild
stroke, known as a TIA, or temporary ischemic attack.

"He should make a complete recovery," speculated Dr. Kendall Rove of
George Town Medical Center in Washington, . "But I would expect
his
medical team to not issue further reports until his condition is
fully
spun - or stabilized."

President Bush, in Washington, said he and the nation are confident
of
Roberts' full recovery.

"Let's hope real soon he can get back to his job doing the will of
the
nation, including doing away with abortion and other immoral things,
you know."


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